“Therapy Didn’t Work for Me”…This Might Be Why

Why Therapy Didn’t Work for Me...” This Might Be Why

According to a recent Kaiser Family Foundation study, over 40% of Coloradans report symptoms of anxiety or major depressive disorder. For many, therapy is the first step to getting help. But what happens when it doesn’t seem to work?

You might feel frustrated, disappointed, or like you’re beyond help. You're not. Here are some reasons therapy might not have helped in the past—and what you can do differently now.

What Is Psychotherapy and What Is It Not?

Psychotherapy, also known as talk therapy, is a collaborative process between a trained mental health professional and a client. Its goal is to help individuals identify and change unhelpful thought patterns, build coping skills, and improve emotional well-being.

But therapy isn’t advice-giving. It isn’t passive. It’s not about the therapist telling you what to do. Good therapy is grounded in mutual respect, scientific methods, and emotional safety.

Common Reasons Therapy Doesn’t Seem to Help

Axis Integrated Mental Health of Denver interviewed therapist Jasmyne Kettwick from Relate Family Counseling to understand why therapy doesn’t always work the first time. Based on that conversation, here are some of the most common reasons therapy can fall short:

1. The Wrong Therapist Fit

Just like in any relationship, chemistry matters. Maybe your therapist wasn’t trained in the area you needed help with (e.g., trauma vs. anxiety). Or maybe their style clashed with your personality. Some teens connect better with younger therapists; some adults need a provider who understands cultural or gender identity experiences.

2. You Weren’t Ready Yet

Therapy takes emotional energy. Like training for a marathon, it requires preparation, consistency, and time. If you weren’t emotionally ready to face painful memories or patterns, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you failed—just that your timing may not have been right.

3. The Wrong Treatment Type

Different issues require different approaches. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) works well for anxiety and depression, while interpersonal therapy (IPT) can help with grief or relationship challenges. If your provider only used one method, it might not have been the best fit for your situation.

4. You Needed More Than Talk Therapy

Some mental health conditions, like major depression or PTSD, may need medication support to create enough stability for talk therapy to work. This is where integrative care comes in: psychiatrists and therapists working together, not in isolation.

5. The Therapist Was a Trigger

Sometimes, the therapist reminds you (consciously or subconsciously) of someone tied to a traumatic experience. This is called transference. For instance, if you had a traumatic experience with a parental figure, working with a therapist of the same gender may stir up fear or mistrust. A skilled therapist will recognize and help navigate this dynamic, but if they don't, it can stall your progress.

Different Therapists for Different Needs

There are many types of therapists: trauma-informed, CBT-certified, family systems-focused, and culturally responsive. No single therapist is right for everyone. It's okay to "interview" therapists and ask about their experience treating people like you.

Therapy Takes Work—And That’s Okay

Therapy isn’t linear. Some weeks feel like breakthroughs. Others feel like setbacks. That doesn’t mean it’s not working. Change takes time, practice, and trust.

If you weren’t ready to put in the work before, don’t beat yourself up. Your mental and emotional readiness matters just as much as your therapist’s qualifications.

When Therapy Isn’t Enough

Therapy alone doesn’t always solve everything, and it doesn’t have to. If you need medication, community support, or a more structured treatment plan, that’s okay. In fact, many people benefit most when therapy is part of a broader approach that includes psychiatry, peer support, or lifestyle changes.

At Axis Integrated Mental Health, we build treatment plans that reflect your needs, not just a therapy checklist.

A Unique Challenge: When the Therapist Feels Unsafe

Let’s talk about something people rarely say out loud: sometimes, your therapist can be the trigger. If you found yourself shutting down, avoiding eye contact, or feeling defensive, your nervous system might have been protecting you from an emotional association you couldn’t name.

This doesn’t mean therapy is wrong for you—it just means you may need a therapist trained in trauma-informed care who can help unpack those feelings safely.

How to Find a Therapist Who Works for You

• Look for therapists who specialize in your main concern (e.g., PTSD, anxiety, OCD).

• Ask about their training, approach, and experience.

• Check credentials and licensure.

• Ask yourself: Do I feel safe and heard?

It’s okay to try more than one therapist before finding the right fit.

You’re Not Broken. You Just Haven’t Found the Right Fit Yet

If therapy didn’t work before, it doesn’t mean it won't work in the future. You deserve support that actually helps.

Whether you’re ready to give therapy another try or are considering psychiatry or integrative mental health care, we’re here to help.

Ready to Try Again?

Schedule a consultation with the compassionate team at Axis Integrated Mental Health. We can help you explore options tailored to your needs. Your journey to healing doesn’t have to end where it started.

More Information

• Understanding Psychotherapy – APA

• Mayo Clinic: Psychotherapy Overview

• Relate Family Counseling

• Watch: Therapist Jasmyne Kettwick on Why Therapy Doesn’t Always Work